I have met a few people like Tristan who like to use insecurity as a reason to treat people poorly. A lot of insecure people tend to have a victim mentality, which creates feelings of jealousy, paranoia and doubt within the relationship. Insecure people can often have control issues that drive their behaviour, which can make a relationship unhealthy. Cass and Tristan do not have a healthy relationship, and I will state below why I think this is the case.
I can already see how drained Cassandra is from having to reassure Tristan about their relationship all the time. When someone is saying negative things about themselves all the time, it can be emotionally exhausting to have to pick up all the pieces.
Tristan's insecurity comes from being rejected and bullied by girls in the past when he was overweight. Tristan's fear of rejection is understandable, but he almost uses it as a crutch not to initiate romance or affection with Cass.
Tristan avoids being vulnerable with Cass, which prevents them from growing closer as a couple. During intimacy week, the couple clearly struggled with most of the tasks, and MAFS expert Alessandra had to intervene to get the couple's gazing task done. If an MAFS expert knocks on your door, you know your relationship is on Struggle Street. Let's not forget that cringeworthy first kiss, either.
Cass is a very positive, respectful and good communicator who expresses her needs within the relationship. Cass has been very patient with Tristan but often voiced that she needs more affection from him to move forward in their relationship. These requests have been ignored, and Tristan continues to push Cass away.
I believe Tristan is not really trying to grow or be better for Cass. Why is Tristan even in this experiment if he is unwilling to give their relationship a fair go?
So far, Tristan and Cass have gotten the 'golden couple' edit, which is typically a couple who can do no wrong. In my eyes, though, Tristan has already conducted himself poorly beyond tonight's argument, which occurred at Madeleine and Ash's wedding.
After Tristan chose to sleep on the couch the night before, Cassandra is more confused than ever. "Is he repulsed by me? Is he not into me? It's weird between us," she ponders to the camera. Why would you choose to sleep away from your partner in a relationship experiment? Tristan's own insecurity is now spreading to Cass and making her doubt herself, which is really sad in my eyes.
Frustrated by the lack of intimacy, Cassandra says she's "bored", and Tristan takes the comment very personally, exploding in the middle of Madeleine and Ash's reception. He goes into attack mode and waffles on about how he puts in all the effort. Cass clearly does not mean that she is really bored by him. She wants to be treated as a woman, to be desired, held closely and loved. Tristan, instead, makes her feel bad by talking about how drained he is from planning stuff and how he is 'beating himself up'. Cass can't help but walk out and ends up in tears in the bathroom.
Insecure people will use that victim mentality I mentioned earlier to absolve themselves of guilt and blame their problems on others, even if it causes their partner pain. Tristan is not a healthy relationship for Cass because she always plays second fiddle to his insecurity.
I do not think Tristan is a bad person; I think he is too immature and insecure to be in a relationship right now. Tristan struggles to see beyond his own feelings, and I think he needs to sort himself out first with some self-love and therapy before entering his next relationship.
I do not think Tristan and Cass will make it to the end of the experiment. They are ill-suited, and Tristan has lots of work to do for himself.
Keep watching MAFS, and let me know your thoughts on Tristan and Cass.
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