We are back again for another recap- we know you live for the drama.
Let's briefly check in with the last episodes newly wedded couples.
Tristan and Cass pass with flying colours and enjoy a helicopter ride, and Tim and Sara agree to start over after Tim apologises to her.
Now to the weddings! Our first groom is Timothy (business owner, 51), who gives himself a 4/10 and says he is missing a heart. He is our tin man from Aus. Timothy seems like a nice bloke who has gone through some heartbreak.
Sadly, Tim has lost both his parents and his sibling, which means he has no immediate family left.
Timothy is matched with free spirit Lucinda (wedding celebrant, 43). Lucinda is our bogan spiritual lady who has put her fate in the 'divine judgment' of our experts.
Lucinda has some unique wants in her husband, such as a 'high functioning erection' and not sharing 'the shitter'… but sharing emotions instead.
Mel Schilling continues the overused Wizard of Oz references, calling Lucinda the Dorthy to Timothy's Tinman. Hopefully, this romance goes somewhere over the rainbow.
Move over Timothy and Lucinda, Harrison …. I mean, Jack, our walking red flag, is entering the scene. Jack is a personal trainer and self-proclaimed alpha male who is a 'dominant lover.' I would not hire this man as my personal trainer.
Jack describes himself as an ice cream sundae concoction of chocolate and sprinkles melted in the microwave. I think the microwave might have melted Jack's brain cells, too!
Jack is matched with Tori (business development manager, automotive industry, 27), who describes herself as stubborn and independent. The experts matched the pair because they are both horny people who love tattoos and have some control issues.
We check in with Jack's parents, who worry their son's tuna and rice diet will put off his bride. I would be more worried about his stinky breath. Tori walks down the aisle and seems stoked with Jack's oral hygiene (hopefully, no tuna breath on the wedding day). Tori's mum drools at the sight of Jack. If it doesn't work out with Tori, at least her mum is an option, Jack.
In Tori's wedding vows, she mentions being a control freak, which Jack makes a mental note of. Jack lets us know he has the situation handled and that Tori will be a 'good girl' for him. This man makes me want to vomit with the garbage that exits his mouth.
Jack and Toris are seen to be hitting off, but Lea, Tori's bridesmaid, notices something is a bit fishy. Jack has no family or friends at the wedding; all his guests are clients! Lea deduces this man is a red flag. Why can't he maintain at least a few friendships? Tori waves off Lea's concern; she is too busy planning her 5 a.m. run.
Lucinda and Timothy's marriage gets off to a rocky start. Timothy feels all stitched up when the ceremony features meditation, crystals, and a sacrificial chicken wing. The wedding ends in a washout, which excites Lucinda, who sees it as a lucky sign from the universe.
Timothy changes his tune when Lucinda comforts him about the shattering loss of his family. Timothy starts to feel good vibes from Lucinda and thinks she is a cool girl. Timothy feels a sense of belonging and acceptance from her family, which is lovely.
After the wedding, Lucinda and Timothy opt for some 'pillow talk'. These two are so cute!
Jack and Tori fly off to Vanuatu for their honeymoon. Jack and Tori seem to be getting steamy and cannot get their hands on each other. However, all is not well in paradise because Jack thinks they have no chemistry. Despite the fact he is making out with her every second. Mr kinky is a douche who is surprised?
Tune in for episode 3, you MAFS fiends.
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